More Travel Rules

As I am sitting in the Red Carpet Club awaiting my flight home from San Diego, it seemed like an opportune time to add another installment to my Rules for Travel.

• Deodorant is not optional people. Especially on international long haul flights.
• One carry on and one personal item does Not mean garment bag, duffle, purse and duty free.
• If you fly twice a year, don't be so indignant when the airline won't give you a "complementary" upgrade. No, they really don't care about your business.
• if you take a call in the airline lounge, there is no need to yell. I do not care about your "BIG" deal.
• Liquids in a plastic bag is no longer a new rule. There is no excuse to hold up security because you had no idea that your shampoo was a liquid. The corollary is that TSA does not care that your shampoo is expensive and is not available in a 3.4 oz bottle.
• To the guy surreptitiously farting in Business Class. I know it was you.
• You are flying to Brussels, not the Serengeti, leave the safari pants home.
• Take the backpack off before getting on the plane. I would appreciate not being brained in the aisle seat because you are not spatially aware.
• My headphones are on, that means I don't want to talk to you
• My headphones are off, I still don't want to talk to you